The road to madness is paved with indifference.

Coming Soon to a Potawatomi Zoo Near You

The Blue Room

I found a picture on the internet today.  A picture of my old bedroom on Scott Ave in Fort Wayne, the room that I helped paint with my Mother and Father.  I remember the room painted the color blue, because at the time that was my favorite color, or perhaps the favorite color of my Mother.  

The picture on the internet showed a ratty room, decrepit, probably in the near past a meth house or crack den.  The neighborhood I grew up in is not the same as the present decaying hood.  My memories grow dim with age, yet I remember the day we painted.  A day full of excitement as we moved from a trailer into our house.  A house with a yard and train tracks nearby.  The seven-year-old little redheaded boy, adorned with the Pictish blue warpaint of his ancestors, was so happy.  I didn’t find out until much later that my Father grew up around the corner on Thompson Ave.  Indeed in the past, many of the Putt family lived within blocks of our house.

The memory of that day also brought a profound sadness.  A melancholy that seems to embrace my soul and very being.  I realized that all the memories I shared with my Mother and Father are mine, and mine alone.  As well as the memories that I made with friends and loved ones that have passed into the great beyond.  I am the sole living repository of those memories.  Those memories are a great responsibility and burden.  When I pass, these memories will pass too.  All things must pass, dust to dust, and atom to atom.

There is a decision to make.  Embrace the melancholy, a sure temptress, and retreat into absolute depression.  Or remember the love, and bask in the glow of those times remembered.  I think today, at this moment, I shall remember what it was like to be with both my parents, in a new house, working together, and embrace the love that passes all understanding.

Mayhem, Madness, and the Wish for Peace

The world has become a nightmare.  Our country has become a nightmare.  Our cities have become battlegrounds.  Madness prevails across all levels of society.  Where does it end?  Is this the beginning of the end times or a precursor of death before resurrection?

The Covid nightmare began in earnest back in March.  While Italy was in the throes of the pandemic, politicians such as Trump and Boris Johnson denied there was a problem and that it would quickly go away.  The USA and Great Britain quickly found out that politicians are not doctors and the deaths caused by the virus quickly escalated.

Madness prevailed in the USA as scientists said one thing and politicians said another.  The growing faction of stupid people in the country increased at an alarming rate.  If the escalating deaths weren't enough we had a police officer suffocate a man and it was caught on video.  Years of mistrust and abuse came to head with protests and rioting in some of our major cities.

Did our government try to bring about peace?  No!  And I mean NO!  Trump threatened to send in troops to squash the protests.  Governors, already trying to cope with the virus, were caught off guard and were slow to respond.  The ensuing mayhem was exacerbated by a president who had the military clear a path to an Epsicopal church by tear-gassing a crowd of peaceful protesters, including a priest.

Trump is not a Christian by any definition of the term.  Yet millions of Evangelical Christians follow the man.  What is wrong with these people.  They spout out bullshit about being pro-life, while at the same time they support putting children in cages, promote racism, turn their backs on the poor, and enrich the coffers of their televangelists at a obscene level.

When Judgement Day arrives their will be much gnashing of teeth and wailing.  The righteous follow the tenets of the prophets.  Instead the Evangelicals concentrate of one small area and ignore the rest.

Perhaps we need to do what South Africa has done and set up a Council of Reconciliation.  Simultaneously we need to have a cohesive plan to attack the virus.  We need to eliminate racism and set a path towards peace and equal justice.  The time of politicians becoming rich off while in office must end. 

There is hope for the country, but I give us only a ten percent chance of this republic surviving.  Democracy has become a joke and the rich want it all.  Greed has become the mantra of this country.   We don't have good leaders and considering the level of ignorance and rampant stupidity shown by the general population, I don't see smart, compassionate, people being elected.  I don't have a good feeling about our future.

Christmas Shopping and Sadness

Today I ventured out in the fifty-degree weather for the annual Christmas shopping.  First stop was the mall.  As soon as I entered the mall, I took a sharp right into the pet store.  There I gazed upon the caged dogs, behind glass like expensive jewelry.  The look of longing and sadness in their eyes was mirrored by my own.  When I turned, I saw people in small rooms, train compartment sized, holding and petting puppies that might or might become a member of that family and accompany them to their new home.  If not, then back to the glass cage.  I left the store feeling both happy and sad, a foreshadowing for the mall trip.

The next stop was Sears.  Or should I say the ghost town of Sears.  What a change from years past.  Empty shelves, ghost-employees, a mere wisp of enthusiasm left.  Here the workers can only look forward to their rich masters getting a Christmas-bankruptcy bonus.  The workers, victims to the greed of the mismanagers, will be soon tossed aside like the Christmas wrappings of the goods they sell.  I exited Sears feeling empty and sad.

For lunch, I stopped at the Roma’s in the food court.  A Stromboli brought back memories of my daughter and I feasting at the food court in years gone by.  Finally, the sound of Christmas music brought me temporarily out of my funk.  Filled up by the meaty Stromboli, yet annoyed at the bent fork I was supplied with, I used my newfound energy to leave the food court and venture towards the promised land of Barnes & Noble.

The sounds of Christmas carols diminished as I left the food court.  Funny, I seem to remember in years past that the joyful sounds of Christmas filled the entire mall.  Although there were people wandering about the mall, most seemed cheerless and not talkative.

Barnes & Noble, the last respite of bookworms such as myself, the last of the greats such as B Dalton, Borders, and Walden, names from the past, mere memories.  To be surrounded by thousands of books brought joy into my heart.  My only complaint that if I lived a hundred years I still would not be able to read all that I desired.  After an hour of one bookgasm after another, I said a sorrowful goodbye to my book-heaven and took off to buy my granddaughter a toy.

Before I could make my way to the Disney store, I was waylaid by some delicious odors coming from a bathing goods store.  I saw plenty of nice smelly bath oils salts, creams, gels, etc.  However, the line of people was very long and I was feeling very impatient.  I surmised that many people were feeling very dirty in our current political situation and felt a good body cleansing would help.  What we need is a good soul cleansing and I wasn’t going to get it with a cherry bath bomb.

Macy’s was the next stop.  I love meandering through Macy’s; dreaming of all the stuff while my wallet punches me in the butt, reminding me that I can’t afford most of what I see.  Still I take out my wallet, and after thrashing about, extract some green stuff to buy a few items for my wife.  The atmosphere is very different than Sears.  Salespeople seem more cheerful, probably because they know there jobs are not going to disappear after Christmas.  When and if, Macy’s shuts down then another bulwark of American culture will disappear.  What next, the Amazon Thanksgiving Day parade?

Disney, the store that elicits so many wonderful memories of family trips to Disney World.  The Tower of Terror, Splash Mountain, space mountain, Epcot, oh so many wonderful memories, now tarnished by the miserly sales person I encountered.

“Did you bring a reusable bag, “she questioned?”

No,” I responded. 

“Then it is 99 cents for a bag.”

“Don’t need one then.”

And I left with a toy and receipt in one hand and my Christmas spirit diminished by one Grinch-like person.

My wallet lighter, my sadness heavier, I exited the mall to the world outside.  I have so many wonderful and cherished memories of Christmas’s past.  The future seems dim and I worry about our children and grandchildren.  Collectively we Americans seem to have lost our joy.  I feel like the poor puppies caged behind glass, longing for love, waiting to be taken home, the home from whence I came.

Sermon on Nov 18, 2018

In today’s readings we see a dire portent of the future.  Jesus and the Prophets foresee doom and gloom around every corner and it does seem to be one of the central themes of the bible.  Jesus and Daniel, both see the destruction of humanity, but also the rebirth, a new and better people.  Hence the birth pangs. 

Most mothers can attest to the pain associated with childbirth.  Most men cannot relate, although tearing my ACL and having my chest cracked open brought me a great deal of pain.  So much so that after my heart surgery I prayed to God to let me die, or take away the pain.  At that moment I was prepared to die.  That type of pain and anguish is what Jesus, John, Isiah, Daniel and others describe in the Bible.

Some think that they are righteous enough they will be whisked away in a rapture.  Good luck with that.  If you think you are that righteous then you are probably self-righteous and your wishes of being whisked away are delusional.  If you are a Christian and you can’t wait for all your human beings to be destroyed while you survive, perhaps you are not really a follower of Jesus at all.

No, the birth pangs that Jesus talks about, are the painful transformation from the old ways of war, famine, pestilence, and treachery that have besieged humanity from the beginning of our creation.  When we reach the point of total destruction, when the scattered remains of humanity are left, then the birth of a new peaceful utopian society shall take place.  Sounds good, and for the last 2000 years faithful Christians have been awaiting the “New World.”

But wait, there’s more!  What if Christ is not talking about the total destruction of our species?  What if he is talking about the transformation of us as individuals?  After all, how many times has Jesus talked in parables and allegory?  There is always a deeper meaning to what Jesus says.  Always a deeper meaning. 

What prevents us, as individuals, these little islands of flesh, from beginning one with Jesus?  Do we have to suffer and undergo and terrible death.  When we are born and thrust into the world we are full of love.  Usually the first human we encounter is our mother and her love fills us, her voice, her touch, our fist gaze upon her, it’s all love.  We are creatures of God and God is love.  But then the world confronts us, we are exposed to evil and to protect ourselves we build an ego.  This ego gets us through the first half of our life, yet it limits who we are, what we are.  Confined by our egos we get caught up in the materialistic world and do everything it takes to compete and survive and for most of our loves the ego is a necessity.

What about love?  What happened to that love we had as a child?  In some people love can get buried so deep that most others think them completely evil. Our egos demand. “me first.” and our egos can be very selfish. 

Jesus speaks of being reborn, being born from above, and of being childlike to get into the Kingdom of Heaven.  To become childlike we need to let go of our egos.  We need to forego the protections our mind has constructed.  We need to throw down all the stones of the wall we call our ego and open ourselves to the Love that is God.

Does that sound easy?  Of course not.  We spend our entire life building and feeding our egos.  They are to our minds as our skin is to our body.  It takes time and practice to let go of our ego.  Contemplative prayer is one method.  Meditation, where we let go of our thoughts and wants and needs is one method of freeing ourselves from our egos.  Suffering to the point where our egos are destroyed is another way.  Pain so intense that we realize we are not in control and ask God for help. 

Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, indeed all religions have a branch of believers they call mystics.  Mystics are people of faith who believe in a spiritual union with God.  Some people associate mystics with people who see visions.  Throughout history, there have been such mystics, but seeing visions is not a requirement, that is more of a gift from God.  Others believe in a more literal interpretation of the Bible.  The literalists think that they know all the answers and need search no further.  I’m not trying to be judgmental, I get upset when someone tells me they know all the answers and a quick check in Wikipedia reveals 173 times since Christ when people have predicted the end of the earth.  You will not find any mystics that think they know all the answers.  But they do know that God is love and all those that have experienced that love are radically changed.

All I can be is a guide, a signpost, to the ultimate destination … Love.  Jesus had two commandments; Love God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  And Love thy neighbor as thy self.   The heart is where love resides, our soul is pure love the piece of God that is us, and the mind is where our ego takes residence.  When we throw down the stones of our ego, then love can enter our minds.  Then and only then can we truly love our neighbors. 

The wars and famines and earthquakes that Jesus foretells.  In a metaphorical sense, are they our internal struggles, our spiritual starvation, our pains and sufferings?  This is not a stretch.  For two thousand years crackpots have been telling us that the end is near.  Yet here we are? What if all these apocryphal warnings are not about mankind as a whole, but us as individuals?  Ponder this as you leave today.

In Thich Nhat Hanh’s words, “Enlightenment for a wave is the moment the wave realizes that it is water. At that moment, all fear of death disappears.”  When are egos is cast aside and we realize that we are creatures of love, we no longer fear death, for death is another form of birth.

If this sounds crazy, and it might, because most of us are taught to fear death from an early age, then consider some observations from a hospice worker.  Kathleen Dowling Singh wrote a book, the Grace in Dying. And discusses the experiences she observed with people dying.

“I realized that what I had been witnessing in the process of dying was grace, all around, shimmering and penetrating. I began, with newly opened eyes, to observe the subtlety of this grace and to observe the qualities of grace in those nearing death. I became aware that all of the observed qualities of the Nearing Death Experience point to the fact that something profound is occurring here, a passage to deeper being. As I worked with dying people from all walks of life and at many different levels of spiritual evolution, normative patterns of change, of transformations in consciousness, became apparent.

There appears to be a universal, sequential progression into deeper, subtler, and more enveloping dimensions of awareness, identity, and being as we begin to die—a movement from the periphery into the Center. I have come to believe that the time of dying effects a transformation from perceived tragedy to experienced grace. Beyond that, I think this transformation is a universal process. Although relatively unexamined, the Nearing Death Experience has profound implications. Dying offers the possibility of entering the radiance, the vastness, of our Essential Nature, at least for a few precious moments. . . .

The Nearing Death Experience implies a natural and conscious remerging with the Ground of Being from which we have all once unconsciously emerged. A transformation occurs from the point of terror at the contemplation of the loss of our separate, personal self to a merging into the deep, nurturing, ineffable experience of Unity.

My experience is that most people who are dying have no conscious desire for transcendence; most of us do not live at the level of depth where such a longing is a conscious priority. And, yet, everyone does seem to enter a transcendent and transformed level of consciousness in the Nearing Death Experience. . . . It is rather profound and encouraging to contemplate these indications that the life and death of a human being is so exquisitely calibrated as to automatically produce union with Spirit.”

The observations of Singh are not mind-blowing.  I read the autobiography of Johnny Cash and in it, he describes the death of his older brother, Jack.  Jack wanted to be a preacher when he grew up, but he suffered a terrible injury in a sawmill.  As the family surrounded him, he wavered in and out of consciousness.  The final time he awoke with a smile on his face and asked, “Can you hear them.”  Someone asked who and he responded, “The Angels, they are singing by the river, and they are waiting for me.  Then he passed.  To me that is what Singh is describing.

This is what my favorite poet, Khalil Gibran has to say about death.

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

To tie this together, what Singh is describing is what mystics try to attain with contemplative prayer and meditation.  A personal transformation, where we enter a state of grace without the baggage of our egos, where peace and love replace need and want.  The first language of God is silence.  When we enter into silence that is where God speaks to us.

Ponder this as you leave today.  When you have a chance sit quietly and try to discard your thoughts, cares, and needs.  Become as a child, release your burdens to Christ and remember that you are loved, that love is where we came from and where we go back to and love is never to be feared.

Racism

The definition of racism found in the dictionary consists of three parts:

1.    A belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human racial groups determine the cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that ones own race is superior and has the right to dominate others or that a particular group is inferior to others.

2.    A policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.

3.    Hatred or intolerance of another race or races.

The first definition is the key to understanding racism.  It is a belief, not a fact.  Some of us believe in the Trinitarian God, in Angels, in the Power of the Holy Spirit.  That is a belief of faith.  Racism on the other hand is a belief that is taught out of hatred.  We are all made in the image of God, so the Bible says.  But even for those who do not believe in a loving God, the science of biology and DNA should be enough proof for anyone of intelligence that the all members of the human race are made up of the same building blocks.  And just like building blocks, we wear a façade on the outside of our bodies that can be painted any color; in the case of human beings, the color is caused by melanin in our skin.  Cut us open and we all look the same.

Racism is taught and believed by some of the same folks who teach the Earth is flat, vaccines are evil, climate change is made up, rocks falling in the ocean account for the rise in sea level, and cigarettes do not cause cancer.  At one time, the Earth was considered the center of the universe and good, intelligent men were persecuted for saying so.  Not so long ago doctors laughed at the notion of germs, and sanitary conditions in operating rooms did not exist.  Ignorance is hard to conquer if the ignorant do not want to change. 

In our country, we brought slaves from Africa and indentured servants from Europe.  Neither was treated well.  Slaves who escaped were severely punished, as were the people who helped them.  Even educating a slave was illegal.  Evil has existed for as long as mankind has been on this planet.  Evil and Love coexist as darkness and light.  We pretend that evil can be vanquished like some disease, and it is a disease.  However, it is not that easy.

Evil mutates!  Like a virus that adapts to changing environments, so too evil adapts.  If people are not discriminated based on the skin color we humans will find some other facet to discriminate against: intelligence, wealth, sexual identify, gender, class, lineage, you name it and we will discriminate.  I was picked on in school for being a red head, a minor annoyance and not comparable to institutional racism, yet discrimination it was, especially for a severe introvert who only wanted to be left alone.  I once watched an episode of Oprah where she divided the audience between eye colors, awarded one color with a prize, and discriminated against the other.  A simple and effective exercise and yet it has stuck with me for years.  We poor white folks feel discrimination when we are picked last for a basketball game, or don’t win the local Miss Teen pageant.  What about the black man, who whistles at a white woman, and then is lynched for his audacity.  Lynching was the way the white folks carried out their perverse form of justice and they still called themselves Christian.  I have news for them though, Jesus in Luke 13:27 says "But he will reply, 'I don't know you or where you come from.  Away from me, all you evildoers!' 

I have witnessed discrimination my entire life.  In a previous post, I talked about the poor Mexican boy who was thrust into my fourth grade class and I comforted him as he cried.  I did not encounter black children until I went to middle school, and honestly, I was scared of them (I was taught to be scared).  All except Willy, a black kid in my section (advanced) and he was in all my classes.  My favorite teachers were black and I still remember them with fondness.  In fact, the only teachers I didn’t like in my entire school years were two white men, one was a sadistic jerk, and the other tried to destroy the dreams of a young teen.

When I joined the Navy, I saw more discrimination and at the same time, I saw opportunities for those ignored by the so-called normal society.  I once heard a white man from Arizona brag about taking potshots at Indians, and I instantly despised the fool.  I served with a Puerto Rican who had a chip the size of Rhode Island on his shoulder ( I now know why), a Born-Again Christian that the entire division picked on, and I did not wholly sympathize until I grew older and hopefully wiser.

For those that say racism is outdated, I might compare you to an Ostrich, your head buried in the sand, and your worldview seen through your sphincter.  Last Christmas, I attended a dinner at one of our local high-class restaurants.  One of my coworkers, who is African-American, was repeatedly ignored and skipped over by the wait staff until his wife interceded on his behalf.  I talked with some of my coworkers later and they hadn’t noticed.  I realized that most of us are blind to our white-privilege.  This wasn’t forty or fifty years ago, it is happening today.  Look at our government, how many people of color served with the Republican side of Congress last year?  How many people of color serve on the president’s staff?  Believe me, the Republican party of today is not the party of Lincoln, they have mutated.

Our country is being torn apart and our own government is complicit.  Look at our president interfering in the National Football League.  Look at him destroying anything Obama did and bragging about it, just because Obama was black.  Evil persists and it seems to be winning.  Our people have become so stupid they ignore the facts that the Russians fuel and fan the flames of discrimination in this country, with the full knowledge and consent of the evildoers in this country.

There is hope!  We may destroy those that preach peace and love; Martin Luther King and Gandhi come to mind as two who sacrificed their lives.  I listened to Bishop Curry preach at Prince Harry and Meghan’s wedding and his message was one of love and reconciliation.  Will we listen the message, or will we listen to the fear-mongers, the haters, and the dividers?  What will win, Love or hate?  At this point, I am not sure.  Jesus said the ruler of this world was defeated.  I am beginning to think Jesus won the battle, but the war is far from over and evil is still fighting back.  We must do our part to ensure Love and Goodness win; we must fight evil with all our strength for the sake of our children and future decedents. Love is the only way.

Please educate yourself on our past and our present state.  Whenever someone tries to divide us then you should question their motives.  Follow the links below to some sermons, speeches, and history.  Wikipedia may not always be a reliable source but the reference links at the bottom of the pages are usually reliable.

Bishop Curry's Royal Wedding Sermon

Martin Luther King's I Have a Dream Speech

Billy Graham on Racism

Lynching in America

Discrimination in America

Racism in the USA